My Corporate Entrepreneurship professor is known for his penchant for making fun of National Stereotypes. He does not mean to be offensive of course and trusts that we take the material in good humour. While discussing cultural norms in the context of international expansion of businesses, he shared with us the "Cow Philosophy". It's been circulating around the internet for a while but I doubt it will ever cease to be funny (and somewhat telling).
Italy: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
Russia: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
Switzerland: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Brazil: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
India: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
China: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
Israel: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
Singapore: You have two cows. One is "Cow-beh", one is "Cow-bu" (Singlish slang). You are fined by the government for keeping them in your apartment.
USA: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
France: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japan: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
Germany: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
Britain: You have two cows. They are both mad.
France: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japan: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
Germany: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
Britain: You have two cows. They are both mad.
Italy: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
Russia: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
Switzerland: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Brazil: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
India: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
China: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
Israel: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
Singapore: You have two cows. One is "Cow-beh", one is "Cow-bu" (Singlish slang). You are fined by the government for keeping them in your apartment.
